helpful reminder

i think this post by gabe on PA, where he makes observations about life after 60 on WOW does a really good job of elaborating on the boredom/ennui that hits on higher levels of these games. it also reminded me that i really don't want to get involved in another one. thanks, gabe



"We just got word from **** that the requirements definition on the project has changed and they are no longer in need of a developer"
i was expecting a "not interested" response anyway, since it's been a month since the interview, but still. lame. i'm bummed.


green is the new purple

if you asked me what my favorite color i'd say purple, without even thinking. but as i sit here, writing on my green blog, in my green shirt, listening to my green ipod that i pulled from my green messenger bag, i'm thinking maybe it's green.


kate the goddess

someone once asked me to tell them about my friend kate and i simply said, "she is a goddess." i then went on and tried to do her justice and to explain why i said that, but it didn't really impress. then he met her and agreed. she is a goddess. she came in from out of town the week of my wedding 4 years ago to help out. i was in that melancholy, stressed-out, "let's just get this done, okay?" phase and then i showed her my dress. her face lit up and she gushed about how beautiful the dress was and how i was going to look like a princess and that was the last of my melancholy. that's the shortest/best example of how incredible kate is and how much i value her friendship. to clarify, we're not talking beer-advertisement goddess. we're talking the sort of girl-power "all women are goddesses" kind of thing. kate is incredibly giving and loving and nurturing, but if you cross her you are in for a world of hurt. kate protects as passionately as she cares. she is down to earth and practical. she exudes a sexy self-confidence that only comes when a woman is contented with the shape her body is, societal expectations be damned. she is, above all of her greatness, incredibly modest. i tell her she's a goddess, that other people think so, that she's amazing and she brushes it all off. "i'm no different than you," she says, and i know it's true, and that makes me feel all goddess-like, which is an incredible feeling, too. perhaps what elevates kate past "great friend" to goddess is that she has the ability to inspire. while she makes so many daunting things look effortless, it doesn't look like magic. it just looks do-able. kate can do it, so can you. so what's stopping you, eh? that thing that's stressing you? meh. it doesn't worry kate, so don't let it get to you, okay? last april she gave birth to her first son (liam--not named after a character on buffy. it was pure coincidence) and ryan and i went to visit the happy family in august. while i've always wanted kids, babies freak me out. i never had any younger brothers and sisters, and never baby-sat a kid younger than 2, really, so all i know about babies is that they're precious and they seem infinitely breakable and oh crap, what if they start crying and i can't fix it? i'd just been hoping that when the time came some sort of mom-stinct would kick in and/or the baby would recognize me as mom and that would make it easier. within about 2 hours, kate managed to cure me of that. she laughed away my fears in that easy "of course you feel that way, but it's really quite silly" way she has. i knew after that weekend that everything was going to be okay, and that i was procrastinating for a stupid reason. last weekend, she and liam came into town to visit some friends and friday night we ate dinner with the two of them (daddy chris had to save his vacation time for later) and some mutual friends who have two very small children (claire is 2ish and mark is 5months). after dinner we went and hung out at the children's rec center at west county mall. you wouldn't think that was a happening place to be on a friday night, but the joint was jumping. ryan and i joked that eating dinner with 3 babies was going to fix my baby-fever, and you might expect that hearty dose of reality would help calm it down, but i knew it wouldn't. kate is 6ish months pregnant, and nothing brings home the goddess-image than having a 15 month old on your hip, a baby-swollen belly, and smile on your face. "i'm already on #2, what's keeping you, slowpoke?" she said before she even opened her mouth. while we were sitting around the edge of the play area kate sighed and asked if i ever expected our lives to turn out like this. "didn't you kind of hope they would?" we spend most of the evening like that. idle chit-chat, simply enjoying each other's company for the first time in almost a year and then randomly saying soul-sharing bits of stuff like we could read each other's minds. cuz, you know, she's a goddess.


the island

it's better than you might think, but like most action flicks requires a hearty helping of suspension of disbelief. also, they made this scene just for me. and it made me very, very happy.



mc and joe welcomed their daughter into the world earlier today. third parties report that she ultimately weighed in at a very hearty 10lbs, 10oz and 23 inches and that mamma, pappa, and baby girl are all doing great. in related news, i'll be dining with a very pregnant woman and 3 children all under the age of 2 (as well as a few more people) tonight. i expect to either be temporarily cured of or to come down with an acute case of baby fever.



my favorite co-worker is giving notice in the next 48 hours. on the one hand, i'm very happy for him, on the other, i'm really, really unhappy. i'd never been used as a reference before this, so i'm glad i didn't break his opportunity by saying the wrong things. i very selfishly wish he'd stick around long enough for me to leave, too.


quasi spoilers

in the comments of this post lie vague references to harry potter and the half-blood prince. minor talking around the plot, but no specific names or anything. much more emotional response-y.

dead muse

apparently, my muse is also reading harry potter. i haven't been able to write a thing since finishing the book. i keep looking for pictures inside my head to write down, but it's a huge blank. i've gone through older outlines and half-started story attempts in the hopes that something will get triggered, but it's like trying to light a wet fuse. granted, it's only been a couple of days, but it's disturbing for her to close up shop so fiercely. usually i can stumble across *something* to trigger a scene, even if i can't get it down to my satisfaction, but this? there's no scene. i can almost feel her sitting in the corner of my head, slowly rocking against the wall, refusing to listen to me. why do i blame the book? i was already feeling a bit self-conscious about writing thanks to a conversation ryan and i had about it a few days earlier, so i'm sure that's contributing, but it's like the plot of this book has blocked everything else. if it was filling my brain with things about the book, it'd be okay, because then i'd just write about them, but it's not, it's just stopped the flow. i'm distracted by the crossroads that she has left the characters. if joss whedon had written harry potter, i wouldn't be worried, because i trust joss, even when he does very bad things. i don't trust her, because i don't know her. i'll probably elaborate more in a comment (because they don't show up on the main page), not to the point of being a true spoiler, but just because things inferred from comments can be just as spoilery as actual plot points. ... gah! i can't even finish off a post properly. i've spent entirely too long shuffling sentences about, trying to get everything to flow right, but it just won't end. sigh. i'm hopeless.


crazy weekend

so many things happened in the last few days that deserve their own essay-length posts. we picked up will and gina from the airport so late on thursday that it was actually friday morning. friday afternoon was spent socializing, hanging up flags in a hall for saturday's party, and visiting the soon-to-be spectacular workspace for a company that will works with/for, which just happened to be in the same building as a company i sent a resume for. so much coveting. friday night we had a crazy whirlwind dinner prepared by gina in a very shiny kitchen that didn't quite have everything she needed. her skills at adapting rival her general cooking skills. saturday morning we attended a memorial mass for a very great man. i'm still sorting out how i feel about that on multiple levels. cancer, death, afterlife, catholicism, family, friends--you name it and its in my brain, and has probably gone through some sort of radical change since saturday morning. well, except cancer. that's never not going to suck. saturday afternoon we attended a party for the same man. giant illegal fireworks were set off in his honor right next to the new cathedral. how incredible that 3 times as many people showed up to celebrate his life than originally expected? also, don't be afraid to make silly faces in your pictures. don't scowl at people who do. those are the best pictures ever. saturday night was full of good friends and many games. i've never rolled as many large straights in yahtzee as i did that night. ever. put together. makes it hard when you need 6s. clue is very easily over-thinkable. if i was allowed to use a spreadsheet, there would have been no stopping me. :) sunday morning we said goodbye to will and gina (again). sunday i burned about 3gb of music from cd to itunes. while doing this, i read, in its entirety, harry potter 6. i know who the half blood prince is, and i ain't tellin'. also, my neck hurts. a lot. sunday evening, we saw charlie and the chocolate factory. it was really weird. i also think it was really good. not sure i ever want to see it again though. weird. although it was slightly less disturbing than the original one. i think that blending hp6 and charlie was a good idea. it should scramble my brain well enough that i might get some sleep. also managed to cram a good 3 or 4 tour de france stages in while all this happened. this is the week that i, in theory, find out whether i get the job i interviewed for on my birthday. if not, then it's time for round 2 of irons-in-the-fire games. my boss is leaving wednesday and won't be back until august. puts a kink in any notice-giving plans that might develop. friends from omaha are coming in for the weekend. doesn't look like i'll be taking it easy next week, either. ah well.


happy anniversary to us!

i had something all set to post last night, but i can't remember what it was. i think it may have been about watching stage 10 of the tour de france made my legs ache. or how i like my hair color. or maybe my new messenger bag. i can't remember, so i'm just gonna say "happy anniversary to me and ryan!" we've been married 4 years (yes, just 4) today. and happy bastille day to the francophiles.


yay for TMBG

went to the they might be giants concert at the pageant tonight. it was an incredible show. they played many of my favorite songs, including a couple i hadn't heard in quite a while. a happy note on what is shaping up to be a rather gloomy week, so i'm going to try and hold this happiness within me as long as possible. you wouldn't think that 2 inches makes that much of a difference, but i discovered that kurt is not so short and tim is very tall. i expect there to be clouds around will's head the next time i see him, and to be able to look gina in the eye. :) woo! first pass through the post and i didn't mispell anything!! ;)



was it not enough to have a head full of grey hair before i'm 26? apparently, the answer is no. i do not have a broken toe. i do not have a hairline fracture, what i *do* have is arthritis, or the beginnings of it in my right foot. my freaky "one is 9 3/4 sized and one is 9 1/4 sized" feet. turns out that that, coupled with wearing women's shoes has caused a stress point to develop in my foot that if not attended by a podiatrist will turn into a knee and hip problem as well. more importantly than that, it means NO MORE HEELS. as if didn't have enough "fun" trying to get my freaky "only shoes with adjustable straps/buckles/ties across the top, please" feet into shoes. i walk so much better when i'm in heels, but apparently that walk is putting too much stress on one of my toe joints (and by too much i mean "all" which, yeah, is too much) so no more heels, or heels on special/painful occasions. grrrrrr you know that scene in every sitcom where the neurotic character goes to the doctor and the doctor is so awed by something that s/he brings in other doctors to look at it? that happened to me today. the nurse practitioner called in my real doctor for a second opinion and when the real doctor started talking about my problem (she knows only because she has it too) they turned me around so they could look at how my feet/ankles line up. apparently something is really impressively off with the way i stand, because there was awe. i should be happy. i get to go shoe shopping.


things that make you go...

'k. maybe just one so there's this new commercial for best buy's geek squad that i happened to catch today (unrelated tangent: summer is hell on tivo), which pretty much looks like a daft punk video to me. i can't help but think, the only people that commercial is going to appeal to probably don't need the geek squad.



blogger doesn't count comments as rss-worthy. lame. maybe i just haven't found it yet...


looks like one of my prospects just got un-prospected. lame. oh, and no posting comments that make me cry. that goes double--nay, triple--if you live in texas. good thing i was already drinking 8( i almost spelled triple like nipple. tee hee.


not much to say

but i'm still trying to do that once a day thing. work sucked so hard today that i had to be talked out of just walking out...twice. tomorrow promises to be just as fun. maybe it's that i haven't said anything commentable yet, but y'all do know you can comment just as easily here as you could on snipsnap. ...assuming you're even out there. if everyone got the snipsnap though RSS i guess i really *am* talking to myself. oh, and covet


poor dave zabriskie

so, i don't really care about the tour de france. i'll watch it every night, while doing other things, because i live with someone who cares, and i care about him, and frankly, it's either that or the ranma 1/2 disk we have sitting around because we haven't gotten around to watching it yet. but i've got to say, my heart bleeds for this guy. i hope he's right. i hope he comes back. if nothing else, it'll make the last 15 or so minutes of the 2-3 hour nightly viewing interesting. see for yourself


before i forget

sitting near us at tonight's fireworks show was a young couple who could not have been dating more than a few weeks. how do i know? because he was saying inane things and she was acting amused/interested when really, she shouldn't be at all. at all. it started with him "confessing" the fact that he's a starwars geek, but in a way that suggested he was trying to say "see how shy and awkward i am? isn't that endearing?" here's a helpful tip: saying that you brought your starwars books back to school with you because you enjoyed the movie so much isn't awkward, it's nerdy. tonight's fireworks display was set to music, most of it from movies (hence the starwars). he sang through all of it, and not well. not on tune, often making it very, very obvious that he knew not the words neither the tune. it was PAIN FULL!!! the highlight of my eavesdropping/judging came when the theme to indiana jones started to play. he: what is this. she: indiana jones. he: i don't think that's right. she: i'm pretty sure that's indiana jones. he(dismissively): well, it's not any indiana jones i've ever heard of! had a hard time not snickering at that one.


this is what i'm talking about

in a desperate attempt to "post something almost every day if i can help it." i present the following instant-messaged conversation. it is a symptom of why i must get the f*sk out of here. me(13:51:57): how long is unit testing? like a whole month, right? her(13:55:45): ?? her(13:55:49): not sure sorry her(13:55:54): **** may know me(13:56:07): isn't it your job to know now? me(13:56:10): :D her(13:56:30): actually no. It wasn't as an architect nor PM. me(13:56:52): i'm sorry, the project manager doesn't maintain the project timeline? her(13:56:59): It's not an Express milestone so the project PM and development lead are the ones that care her(13:57:16): I'm not PM of that project... ^^^^ is. me(13:57:46): your new job gets easier every time i ask you a question ;) names have been erased to feign anonymity. PM==project manager